No Blame Game

One of the things I deeply admire about Bobby was his unwillingness to blame anyone else for what happened in his life.

Yes, there's the whole "satin cushion" remark he made that time... I think he was realistic about having been disappointed by the industry he'd unwittingly been thrown into as a child.  But not once, in the articles, letters, etc. I've read, have I seen him cast blame on or badmouth another person.

He certainly never said anything directly about Walt Disney, despite his contract having been terminated early, and even made a public appearance at Disneyland to plug the pirate ship after it had just been built.  I wonder what it took for him to do that?

He also never blamed his parents for any sort of pushing they may have done regarding his career.  He seems to have loved them with all his heart, and want nothing more than to please them.  It could be said that this was the standard relationship between Eisenhower-era parents and children, and socially conditioned respect and fear probably did have something to do with it.  But Bobby was intelligent, and he was a deep-thinker.  He could certainly have figured out where his parents may have made some mistakes (as any parent will), and caused everyone to feel sorry for him over it.  But he never did.

After his marriage broke up, he also doesn't seem to have bad-mouthed Marilyn in any way.  In the magazine article here, he cites incompatibility as the reason for the split and doesn't indulge in blaming and mud-flinging.  He treats his soon-to-be-ex-wife with respect at all times, which we all know is rare after a divorce.

Bobby also had the opportunity to blame some of his high school "friends" (one in particular) for introducing him to narcotics in the first place.  Yet again, he accepted his own responsibility for trying them.

This is definitely not to insinuate that Bobby was perfect and didn't have times of selfish behavior and recklessness.  Plenty of his legal troubles indicate that he did have his moments.  But I feel we can look over a good portion of Bobby's life and see that, on the whole, he was a loyal person to those he loved and didn't seek to put down anyone for his own misfortune.

I love how he asked Truman Capote to write his biography, if possible, "with care and skill and without attempting to shock, ridicule, accuse or enlighten, but simply, delicately, to reveal."  This was only a month or so before his death, and reminds us that despite the darkness he descended into the last few years of his life, that "light" was still flickering.