On "A Daughter's Musings," Kathy Driscoll's public Facebook blog (Bobby's daughter), she states she is going next month to visit her daddy for the first time on Hart Island, and plant California poppy seeds for him.
This is a beautiful thing to hear. I'm so glad one of his children finally gets this chance to go to him. California poppies are among my favorites flowers (and I'm not a big flower person, so that's really saying something), and it makes me wonder if it was Bobby's, and that's specifically why she's taking them! Either way, I know it will absolutely warm his heart.
Meanwhile, I tried to go to Hart Island myself last October and didn't make the ferry in time. You can imagine how upset I was, having driven all the way from North Carolina. I then wanted to try again in March for his birthday, but there was a blizzard in New York plus my dad was very sick...
So I have been planning for October again this year, to go and pay my own respects. My plan is to take sunflowers -- my favorite flower, which I want to leave there with Bobby -- and a tile I hand-painted a message on. I might not be able to take one or both of those things, as they are picky about what they let go on the island (I know no glass!) but going there will be enough.
Let's wish Kathy well in our hearts for her trip to finally get to whisper goodnight to her father. Addiction may have claimed the best years of his life, those he didn't get a chance to spend on fatherhood, but I am sure the man loved his children the very best he could at the time and is so very proud of them.
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I am glad you have started a blog in honor and memory of Bobby Driscoll. I have always enjoyed his acting, he was such a pro.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words! And yes, I agree, he was wonderful at what he did.
DeleteI think Bobby suffered two very traumatic episodes in his life which led his addiction. I would imagine growing up as a very public child star in Hollywood ,adults were always "fawning" over Bobby. Plus he grew up as the only child to two older parents, remember his Mom was 40 years old when he was born. When started public school in the 9th grade Bobby said the other kids were very mean to him. I'm sure he was stunned and very hurt by this reaction. Outright hostility and lack of respect was something he was not used to. He said he desperately wanted to fit in. As it turned out the "bad" boys in school were the only ones that payed him any attention. I'm sure he was an easy touch for these more mature boys, plus Bobby had money to earn their approval. When they suggested he try drugs I'm sure he didn't want to be an outcast at school again, so he did as they told him. Sad. Next about this same time Bobby went to the Disney studio looking for work and asked to see one his past film directors. I'm sure Bobby wanted to go back to when he was happy and he felt Walt Disney studio would greet him with open arms. When the director said he was too busy to see Bobby, he then next asked to speak to Walt Disney. Again he was refused, Bobby was then escorted in tears off the Disney property by security . Talk about trauma, how cruel Bobby was treated. I'm sure in the past Bobby was everyone's favorite on the Disney lot, now he meant nothing to them. Looking back I don't think he ever got over this. Bobby became very bitter after this episode, who could blame. I think in his mind he had always tried to be a good boy and tried to please everyone from his parents down to his movie family. I think from then on he tried to live in a way that was the total opposite of what a "good boy" should do. He stopped doing his school work, he started on drugs, he was arrested multiple times,and he got married when he was obviously too young, 18. If you look back at his life from the age of 17 on, he seems to have intentionally acted as outrageous as he could. If they were going to treat him as garbage he would then become worthless. I so wish Bobby could have beat his demons and gone back to acting. He had so much natural talent, I think he could have been one of the few child actors to succeed as an adult. I appreciate you creating this blog in honor of Bobby, I am sure he is at peace now.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for your thoughtful comment, Marilyn! You've brought up some excellent things here.
DeleteI've noticed Mr. and Mrs. Driscoll were definitely "mature" parents, and I'd always wondered about that! Whether, say, they meant to wait longer and just have the one (since Isabelle was a career woman, as a teacher, she may have chosen to wait), or whether they had a hard time getting Bobby before then, so they decided not to keep trying for more due to her age.
Anyway, thanks again for your kind words! I do believe Bobby is at peace now too. :)
I hear a lot of blame but where does his own responsibility come in?? Life is hard, that is a reality. Nott everyone turns to drugs. It's called learning to cope
ReplyDeleteAs you can tell, it's taken me a long time to respond to this. I was thinking of the best way to do so...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I agree with you that there does exist personal responsibility, and choice. We all struggle with something, and we definitely have options of how to deal with our pain other than to turn to substances, behavioral addictions, etc. But sometimes, as people, we just mess up, you know? And when it comes to Bobby, I do want to say that even though yes, he could have chosen not to get sucked into abusing drugs, I don't think we can look at addiction, coping skills, recovery, etc. in the 50's and 60's through the lens of today. Self-awareness was hardly a concept then, recovery centers were rudimentary, and teaching on coping skills was few and far between. Therefore, I feel people who struggled with substance abuse in the past should be issued extra grace for their illness.
I don't intend to blame another human being for Bobby's addiction--but I do blame the unwillingness of the clean-faced, merry whistling Eisenhower-era society to face the hard issues.