Aaren Hope

You guys, I just found out Aaren, Bobby's second child and oldest daughter, has passed away from cancer. I know from having watched her Facebook page in recent years that she battled cancer hard and fearlessly. She loved both of her parents and even though she had very few memories of her dad, she honored his legacy the best way she knew how.

I was saddened earlier to think how I'm not sure she ever made it to Hart Island to see his grave. But that would only have been the next best thing to what she's seeing now--him in person. I truly believe he and Marilyn were there to welcome her, and maybe she had the chance to feel what it was like to be that little girl again, running into their arms.

I didn't really know Aaren, and admittedly didn't always understand her perspective on her dad's fans. It seemed very difficult for her to trust any of us. I think she and her family just had some very hurtful experiences over the years in regards to her dad's legacy and she felt very protective of his memory. The only way I was ever able to relate to it was knowing how I felt about my own daddy, who died five years ago. Fathers, for good or for bad, are so often a girl's first love. And I don't think it was any coincidence that she breathed her last around the very same time Bobby breathed his. 

Aaren, this is to you. Rest happily ever after.

Bobby's 85th

Well, it's 10:25p on March 3rd, so suffice it to say I've not posted this a minute too soon for Bobby's birthday. I was going to just wait until I have time to do the thing I wanted to do for this day to say anything at all, but never in five years have I missed posting on Bobby's actual birthday. I wasn't going to let it by me today, either, even though it was late when I got here. 

I also kept my annual tradition of baking a birthday cake. In '16, when I first became a fan, I hadn't had the idea of the cakes soon enough to bake one, so I didn't get started with that until '17, when I made a Southern Caramel cake (I try to go with the theme of vintage or old-fashioned cakes). In '18 I made a really good lemon cream cake, and I get '19 and '20 backwards: one of those years I did a chocolate cake, and the other I did a yellow cake with chocolate icing. Last year I did the best red velvet cake you would ever have had in your life, and this year I thought I'd beat the awesomeness track record and make a cake from a magazine that was published during his actual lifetime. What I found was a Coconut 'n Coffee Cake. 

This was from 1955, the year of Bobby's graduation from high school.

And let me just say this: epic fail. If only I had the entertaining pictures to tell the story. I really wanted a redo desperately, especially as every single year up til now, I have really nailed it with cakes. But this year has already been a tough one for me, so if ever there was a year when my cake would flop, it would totally be this one. Oh well, enough with the self-pity.

So the best I can do for this year and this late in the evening is to share my list--one I began keeping six years ago--of things I love about Bobby. Some of these may echo your own thoughts, and some may be new ideas for you. On the anniversary of the day he made his appearance in the world, I thought it only appropriate to ponder the ways in which he made the world a better place. Some of these are very specific, and if you would like me to cite reasons I "know" this about him, I'll provide you my sources. 

Oh, and anybody who thinks they're going to give me a hard time in the comments about being of a fluffy, sappy fangirl enough to start an actual list of favorite Bobby qualities, let me just say, you shouldn't bother because the world nowadays is a lot friendlier to people who have a passion for something/someone. And Bobby is my person, like it or lump it. Obviously he's at least a little yours too, or you wouldn't be reading a blog about him.

So here they are, in no particular order: 

• His supposed gentleness and sensitivity
• His passion for art and the spiritual
• His friendliness and love for people (though did you guys know he called himself an introvert? Pretty impressive for him to have some personality knowledge in the not-so-self-aware 50's and 60's)
• His voice
• His soulful eyes and the lines around them that formed crinkles when he smiled
• His honest reflection
• The ways he always did his hair
• His intelligence
• His hands
• How good he was with his coworkers, including those younger than him
• His positivity 
• His love for his parents, deserving or no
• Desire for love and normalcy
• His expressiveness
• His affection and warmth
• His good sense of humor
• How he numbered his pages when writing letters and formed his "p's" (the latter of which was pointed out to me by somebody else.

I actually had quite a few more, but decided to spare us for now.

I've said this time and time again, but mostly what we hear about Bobby in the media is how wretched and sad his story was. But I think we honor his memory much better by focusing on the fact that he wasn't what happened to him in the end. He was a person fondly regarded by about all who remember him during his short life. 

This past year, we lost Dean Stockwell. It seems as though, by the day, we lose yet another person who knew Bobby and can tell us his stories. So it's important for us to keep the good stuff alive. 

Finally, along this vein, I'm going to show you guys two mixed media pieces I made out of 8x10's of Bobby from a couple of his lowest times: during his interview with Fred Brown in 1961 and a post-court pose he gave the camera earlier that year. By the way, I show these not to illustrate my amazing artistic talent, because I mainly like to make art in order to process my inner thoughts and feelings, not because I think I have some great, unique gift to show the world. 

I used pieces of an old necklace and a quote I found to illustrate how even the experience of legal trouble wasn't enough to keep Bobby's bright light from shining through, whether people could see that at the time or not.

(Sorry these are not awesome quality, I'm far from a gifted photographer and couldn't get a good angle no matter what I did)

This was kind of the same idea--broken jewelry, along with some other stuff I found, to symbolize his beauty instead of his brokenness. 

Just some concepts to think about. Happy 85th, Bobby. You are, now, where you might be by this time anyway--wrapped in eternity. We honor you today and the person you were, not the sum of bad circumstances that you are not. 

You all have a safe and happy March.